Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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