Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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