Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
