Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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