ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
