Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
