sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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