Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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