Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
