I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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