1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
