After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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