shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
my poor anus
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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