i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
