hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
