My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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