Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
