Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
porn star boner night. come get it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
