wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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