Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
