So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my shit smells like andre
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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