youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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