Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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