And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
