Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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