I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I look better un-naked...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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