On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize