don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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