I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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