just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
