hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
