non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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