in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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