Dual....:-)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
