sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
