Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
