Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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