What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
