moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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