We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
