I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
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She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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