That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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