is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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