Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
