Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
