you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
