So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
