she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
please come you make the beer taste better
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
