i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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