she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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