you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
