she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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