i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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