she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
