Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
