Swine flu. Run for my life!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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