Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
