sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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