So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
