my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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