hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
tell me about the eggs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
