I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
