Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
